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Formerly I had the state of mind of a jnani: I couldn't enjoy the company of men. I would hear that a jnani or a bhakta lived at a certain place; then, a few days later, I would learn that he was dead. Everything seemed to me impermanent; so I couldn't enjoy people's company. Later the Mother brought my mind down to a lower plane; She so changed my mind that I could enjoy love of God and His devotees.