Divine Love within

HOW TO FIND YOUR PERFECT PARTNER
A step-by-step guide!

There is an unconscious seeking dynamic that lives at the root of all drama, conflict and therefore loneliness in even our most intimate relationships...

We habitually look to 'someone else' for the kind of love and support that they cannot or will not actually provide right now. And we are left feeling disappointed, abandoned, unsafe, unloved and unloveable. And then we blame this 'other' for these seemingly unbearable feelings within us, instead of standing tall in our own experience.

If you're honest with yourself, you'll see that in your suffering you are actually leaving behind a precious part of yourself which is just asking for love. A pain, a fear, a doubt, an anger, has emerged in you not to be 'fixed' or 'healed' or 'taken away' by the other, but loved, embraced, included, sanctified... by you! You are the chosen one!

In other words, you are mistakenly looking to another person to make yourself whole again. Or perhaps you find yourself trying to change or fix them, focussing on their shortcomings, their faults and imperfections, waiting for them to transform, so that THEN they will love you. (Good luck!)

Either way, you have made your happiness dependent upon someone else's happiness and the pace of their evolution. A very disempowering place to be. We call it 'love' but really it is pure addiction. Dependency.

Friend, what you are actually seeking cannot come from without. It lives within. It is there in your very own presence. In your willingness to totally experience what you experience. To hold yourself the way you long to be held. To infuse your pain with empathic attention. To drench your body with kindness. To be the love you know you deserve.

When you break the addiction to 'others' and self-care in this way, you never need to blame anyone for not giving you love again. The sting is removed. The search is undone. There may still be uncomfortable feelings to feel, yes, but there is no violence, for violence only happens when we neglect ourselves and try to manipulate others in our pursuit of peace, love, joy and bliss. We go to war for happiness. We kill for love.

So we can forgive each other now for not being the perfect ones we dreamed of. We can thank our friends and lovers for not saving us, for leaving us unhealed and unfinished. We can bow to each other as we are, honouring our imperfect attempts to love, finding divine unconditional love for our very conditional, perfectly human love.

And each of us can find the perfect partner within. The unconditional Presence that cannot abandon us. Even when we feel abandoned.

How?

Step One: Take no more steps away from yourself.

- Jeff Foster